Ideasyncrasies

I've got it all (almost) I'm now working for Maersk India Pvt Limited... :D..and yippee..having lived ina port city all my life, i'm now wokring for a shipping company... Must be the goan blood that helped though.. I've also shifted to new premises, which are amazing, and the hectic frenzy of shjfiting and a new job is elavuing em bewildered, not to emntion other 'unmenmtionables' that have gotten to me lately... But ahh..21 birthday..come n gone...blessed to have the few specimens in my menagerie...thank u choi, bran, nitin...ahhh the men in my life :D...all amazing ! ;)

Ive had an interesting few days since my last blog...now i dont hi5 no more...its conversations n coffee going cold while i use orkut .... But this blog...is for my folks... Somehow with all the drudgery..or rather..the frantic pace of these past few days.. (see. im so mindfcuked i dont even know the difference! ) ive come to realise a few things... I may be facing the quarter-life crisis ....but it doesnt really matter....and thats thanks to my mum n dad...who are there no matter what. somehow when i get insecure, or wonder just what is my worth, i think about my parents....and then im all chill n smiles lol..because..lets face it..Two such wonderful people can never create soemthing mediocre...so i got potential...its jsut latent...lol..no no...its not an inferiority complex...neither is it a superiority complex...its just...what i see as the truth ! So for evrything i am, or hope to be, i owe to my angel mother. And for indulging me evrytime i argued, and enduring my rebellious st...

Going sour ...Et cetera... I always , always believe that people are inherently nice, and that given half a chance, they'd help a stranger. Yet, a funny incident that occured today made me laugh..yet saddened me a bit... I was making a call from one of those PCO booths to a friend of mine, and the man standing near to me at the next phone somehow managed to drop a Two rupee coin. While continuing my conversation, i bent down to pick it up, and immediately he barked out ' yeh mera hai' ( its mine) ... i said 'haan, jaanti hoon' (yes i know )...and then he was like...thank you.. No sheepish look, nothing...maybe a tad bit surprised though... Funny how people have become so hardened that a simple act of consideration leaves them flustered... I also say a thank you to the bus conductor after i purchase my ticket, and thank the bus driver before i get down from the bus....ohkie..so i deserve a kick for being so nice..but it dont hurt does it.. n most times..its really ni...

Now im in solitary confinement. Been like that for ages...which is why i drool like a doggie whenever a friend requests shelter for the night. Since bombay is so obliging with long, stifling, crushing train journeys, bomb blasts, deluges etc...i d o have my wish granted at times...someone comes over to stay the night, and i sleep. in Peace. I just cant sleep alone...my eyes dont shut until my brain says u cant stay open anymore, and thats when i fall off asleep. I keep looking out of the window, sneaking glances actually, wondering if there is a blood sucking vampire jsut waiting to tear the mesh n get to me.... fat little me has a lot of the red stuff btw.... But...i cant sleep. And this has been the case for ages now...ever since iv started living alone. The bible doesnt help..or rather..i dont pick up the bible because that gives me the chills too. Its like okay, those things exist, and the bible willsave me from them, so if i dont read the Bible, then Those things dont exist. '...

Sometimes it feels like im crawling thru life. Things happen, fast enough, yet i feel so sluggish, i wonder why. Techinically, im jacking my own case....procrastinating....but still...u know that feeling..where u jsut dont like the way ur life seems to have stalled, even though everything is supposedly working fine.... Perhaps, its this indecision. I dont know my vocation in life. i just know i love people. And im too forthright for my own good. And im bored quick. And i hate people lying to me..though it IS one rule for the gander n one for the goose....

Umm...now that ur reading my blog, i can safely assume i have atleast ONE reader. Praise be the Lord :D The title refers to SAVE our Blogs....and not what u first thought it was ...lol...but i must admit i did curse a bit... suddenly one morning i wake up, and ufff...my blog's been blocked....i check to see if other blogs are available ( maybe the govt think im so influencial they only blocked mine) but ahhh...back to earth...all the blogs are blocked...even 7 year old riza's blog...yeah..as if she plans to take on the world... All hogwash... read an article about the 'spirit' of Mumbai that evryone keeps talking about..for lack of a better phrase i suppose..and how sick it makes some of us feel...lol..one more mention of the 's' word and we just might gag.... You cant do anything BUT go on with your life in this big city....u cant do anything BUT feel helpless because..face it..all we'r doing is blaming the politicians, perhaps rightly, but thats another ...

Im back from my long (i dunno wht my brain isnt working so can u fill in the missing word plz). hiatus ? lebbiddee... i'll think about the word later. More importantly, i'm blogging again. The blasts.... Rocked bombay, made me weep tears of joy that everyone i knew n loved was safe, and i spent some horrible nerve wracking moments trying to call the very same loved ones. As usual, i procrastinated, overslept, and didnt go out, or i could have easily been one of the victims. Somehow, failign a math paper, being unemployed, or single, doesnt seem so harrowing anymore. To everyone who called n checked up on me.... i love you too...n thank you for caring so much.... I wont pretend to say i know the solution to these terrorsit attacks, i wont favour this or that political party, and no, i wont say praise the Lord i didnt die or Oh Lord, how sad for all those people who did face this. What i WILL say is... I love bombay. Its a city with people of Spirit. If anyone needs any help, il...

Im BAck. Alive. maybe not kicking....but...ready to kill....Bring it On baby... :D LOtsa marvelous rambling to do... Blog after blog.. Oh..and if any of you can help me find a job...please...ill be grateful...long as they have a functional CANTEEN with chocolate sumthing or the other... and chicken.

I don't know how many of you guys are aware of this site called Hi5 that lets u make new friends, keep in touch with old freinds, or gather acquaintances like you were the contender for worlds most popular vegetating in front of his/her comp weirdo, but its a rather nice site. Now trouble is, along with all the genuine weirdos that i have for friends, and they're dah- lingsss...i get strange requests by rather nice looking guys, can i make the frandship with you, u are very interesting/sweet/pretty/cute (fill in the missing adjective). Yeah sure, wait! lemme lend u a hatchet coz u look n sound so like the average, nice, loveable right out of my nightmares psychopath that dad warned me is out on the net just waiting to get to me... No problems....but just thought id mention it...and apparently, even the guys get these requests. Never thought women make better psychos, but hell yeah....they do, they even send you sickeningly sweet mush stuff everyday in your mail like the girlfri...

Wannabe. Nice word that. I've met so many wannabe's, but like one of my frends mentioned...what about me...i'm a 'don't wanna be' LOL. Ever since i started this blog, ive started exploring other people's blogs. Its fun, and if they're witty, or just informative, its like a small chapter in a book. An insight into someone else's life, or what their day was about, or just their perspective on some issue. Needless to say, you also come across some really awful blogs. Or some like bimbettes, you know beautiful outside, no content within. Ideasyncrasies.....when i created it i intended it to be my public ranting forum. My favourite word idiosyncrasies, and my ideas....and thus i coined the name. My quaint, very unique ideas on life, love, success, failure and John Abraham. Someday i'll write an essay on John's dimples lol. And now, to come to the crux of the matter... I wannabe a writer. I'm no wannabe writer mind you...i just wannabe one. And...

The middle of nowhere says: u know marj The middle of nowhere says: i do think about goa Sunrise says: haan bolo The middle of nowhere says: but i don't wanna tell myself that yeah am going there Sunrise says: i knw The middle of nowhere says: so many times things just fail Sunrise says: its like wht if it doesnt work out na The middle of nowhere says: and then i don't wanna get upset Sunrise says: i knw The middle of nowhere says: so i just steer away from that thought Sunrise says: no expectations, no pain, no regrets The middle of nowhere says: seriously Sunrise says: i knw Sunrise says: let it be Sunrise says: i want u to come Sunrise says: and im not thinking of it The middle of nowhere says: hehe Sunrise says: coz i dont want the pain of going alone Sunrise says: thr Sunrise says: now u see how badly i want u to come The middle of nowhere says: let days pass Sunrise says: yeah Sunrise says: in this limbo Sunrise says: neither here nor there Sunrise says: we're waitin...

Another 52 Books ....if ur as crazy about reading as me... it has nice links... I always envisioned paradise to be some sort of library, with u there, and hot chocolate, and cold chocolate, and you keeping your mouth shut and just being good eye candy, to satisfy my heart and aesthetic hunger, and the chocolate would take care of the rest. Ahhh....freak of nature arent i.....

How i wish i had written this..... Beautiful poetry. By a wonderfantabulous friend. THE BLACKOUT Light shed by a tallow-stick, A quill within my grasp; I scribe on yellowed pages And follow the yen of my heart . In peace and still and quiet, In perfect harmony, I faintly hear a whisper, And think I find the key. It is not wine and dancing; It is not jamboree. Its just a breath of silence And soulful repartee. A sudden pause; And time stands still. Life shares herself As she seldom will. A rare glimpse; a favoured chance, A blessing it may be; To look o'er the edge of the world And see what I may see. And now as my light grows dim, I must no longer tarry; But instead make haste to see That which may no longer be. bran-D

Ohkie...clairvoyancy... is that the term? To continue with the past trend.. I'm Clairvoyant. Two days back, while looking out the window, blabbering away on the phone...i said..darn ! its soooo hot i wish it would rain...and VOILA ! Next morning gentle summer showers pitter pattering on the rooftop, and me unwittingly ( in blissful ignorance ) cursing my neighbour for throwing waste kitchen water out her window again... I walk out to go to college, and get drenched. I was shell shocked. I asked for rain...and i got it ! The next logical thought of course was...Prince charming...but does he come ? nope.. now the good Lord knows better than that doesnt he ..( dripping with sarcasm). Apparently, a sense of humour is a sense of balance... and I know iv been rather dreary lately, but jeez, its hard to retain ur sense of humour when ur sense of balance is threatened ..( i have an ear infection) and life is dishing it out with full force, i'm sick, and certain bird brain's i know ...

Yep, Depression Central...thats what i am. Even unto PREDICTING things going wrong. Never again do i tempt fate like that. Everything is supposedly going fine...theres a nice semblance of normalcy, i even wake up on time.... but its still surreal. Nice and numb. Just like i ordered. Problem is...thats not what the doctor prescribed. Disintegrated and yet coming together. Out of chaos comes order. Or maybe, i just work well under pressure! I was right about the friends though.... there forever and a day... and if iv never thanked u before... Choy, Shirls, Bran D, Abhi ( if ur condescending lazy ass ever reads my blog) and Nicks ( even with the lame ass jokes, ur still a darling) .... thanks ! I bought strawberries today.....yippeeee ...one good thing about lenten fasts is that u can eat fruits... not much scope for other edibles though... But yes, something i'd like to share....my rock when im set adrift like this.... Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change,...

Home they brought her warrior dead She nor swooned, nor uttered cry: All her maidens, watching, said, She must weep or she will die. Alfred Tennyson I read this bit from V.S Naipaul's Half a Life.... and somehow it struck... what is life without a little loss...only teaches us to hold on to what we have with even more tenacity, and then dread losing it, or treat what we have with the utmost care and give it the most love...for who knows what tomorrow may bring... I'm sick of that line.... ' who knows what tomorrow may bring..' Well , I know ! Tomorrow will bring me more strength, more friends, more people to share my problems with, a sudden increase in blog viewer ship :D, John Abraham....(if only in my dreams), lots of love, and the realization that I'm still the most precious person in the world to my folks.... the awful epiphany that my prelims are drawing nearer... more temptation in the shape of bars of chocolates n nude chickens roasting on bbq's... ahh..i...

Found this in my old diary. Remembered jotting it down in a hurry, during a social science class..... man ! i miss school.... Be gentle with the criticism.. harsh words unfaze me These are my emotions im discovering For i am captivated by the mysterious the intensity of my thoughts the hidden yearning, the gaping crevices like budding hothouse roses frigidity will kill them so please nurture them with warmth with the sunlight of your soul a clear trail of endless thoughts travailing, leaping...into forever some triggered by memories, or curiosity some nudged by hope And i write, so disarm me with loving kindness Let me cry for gentle words sting my soul MjC

Walking. Something i ABSOLUTEHLY luuurv. Yeah well half of Mumbai doesnt give a shit about what the other half does, every one's so busy, but i do get these puzzled, curious glances from strangers like, what the hell is she doing...the way i stare and gawk at old buildings, mendicants, and then i laugh out loud when something amuses me .........i LIKE Bohemia :D I love south Mumbai. I wish i was a student of architecture at times. But then i see these quaint firms, with weird names in those old, run down buildings somewhere near Fort....and i wonder about what kind of business they do...like who the hell are their customers, do they even get customers.....how long have they been around....and on....and commerce suits me just fine... Spotted this lovely stone statue of a dog somewhere around there. THIS is why i wish i had a camera phone. And then there was this lady at Strand who just COULDNT resist showing off her non -existent cleavage...so i need a cam for perverty pics like tha...