Tuesday, October 16, 2007


Every night I struggle with myself. To sleep or not to sleep. The moment my tired eyes give in and let go, my brain gets into a frenzy and pictures the most horrific things, to make me jolt awake, light up, sit down and do crazy things like BLOG. At 3 am. Or mindlessly watch the idiot box.

I swear my health and happiness is getting affected. Its a constant struggle, two parts of my mind warring for those precious 8 hours.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

I don't know what I want

I sound like so many of the others no.

Don't know what I want, don't know what I can do, Can't make up my mind, think I'm good at everything if i want to do something types.

I'm going crazy wondering just what is it I want from life.

I'm going crazy finding someone I want too, but lets not make my sad social life the object of this discourse, I might go and buy vodka and sleep all through tomorrow and the rest of my life too. Or even worse, I might go give Cadbury their highest sales ever in a day.

Either of which does not seem to be a good option so...

But yes, career. Let's not talk about that either, I feel kaka.

I'm so going out to buy a lovely new pair of shoes. I have these huge duck type, left leg scarred in childhood mishap kind of feet. No kidding. I talk to my feet because I have never seen feet like mine. I love them !

Then again I don't look at men's feet, if i did, I might find a sole mate.

I want to learn how to play the piano. No, seriously. I didn't bother about it when I was younger and mum hounded me, and now sometimes, when i hear instrumental songs, while I'm on hold for the umpteenth time with some psycho, I tend to drift away in my thoughts. Everything goes still and i can feel the music vibrate inside me. Perhaps its the awfully high volume on the phone, or maybe I'm just clawing at some alternative means of entertainment at my boring job, but, Oh that music is heaven. I feel sorry now, for my piano teacher. I don't know what he goes through everyday, listening to teenagers mutilate Swan Lake. I killed it.

Hey you nice people who read my blog, please tell me what you see me doing ten years from now. It's always easier to imagine other people doing things, that you just know are right for them. Don't try and foist YOUR unattainable dreams on me. I do not ever want to wear green fur, kiss a doggy's butt crack, become a stripper, shine shoes, walk the ramp in excruciatingly painful heels that look like the neon monster puked over them, sing the Opera...oh well..you get the point.

Leave some nice suggestions though, I NEED a laugh. No really.

Sunday, October 07, 2007


Honesty can get you to a lot of places.

Some of them not so good.

Seriously, how many people lie on their resumes ? I don't. I'm not proud of it. I can't think of one thing to twist and fabricate and invent euphemisms for.

A friend asked me today, if you found a gold ornament on the ground, what would you do ? Pat came the answer, I'd keep it; obviously. Then she asks me, what if you found it in the office. I'd keep it, obviously !!!

Mum n dad raised me well, so where the heck did that answer come from ?

So many times i lie to people when I don't want to answer the phone, I insist i was asleep, or the phone was on silent, when all I was doing was reading, or surfing the net, or watching Ugly Betty, or listening to my favourite song and i just didn't want to spoil the moment.

Small, white lies. Big, nasty horrible lies. Past one year I didn't lie much. I just avoided people !

How far can honesty get you? I believe that a lie or a series of lies can get you only so far, after that you'd better go in for plastic surgery, liposuction and an " Art of living" course.

How many lies have YOU told today ?

Thursday, October 04, 2007


I really have to get rid of this black pink green hideous you dont rock my world look.Too much work. Let it be :D

You know you're fattest when your blog has THE word twice and your google ads talk about flushing the fat away. Have mercy !