Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Dime after Dime.

I have been beset my depression, guilt, fear, rebellion, depression, doldrums, oh that and all. The whole package really. and nothing seems to be changing. It's been ages now.

I'm trying very, very hard to see the goodness in everything generally, but it isn't really helping.

Maybe, someday, I'll not have any friends, and my family will disown me and this will all go away since I can't live up to my own stringent expectations, how can i please the others then ?

I think I'm giving up, and I'm struggling hard every waking moment to keep up the fight.

I've given up going to church though. Much as I know I have a lot to be thankful for, I'm not really inclined to a conversation with God. I'm afraid I'll vent my anger.

1 comment:

Kris said...

stop being so hard on yourself...we're not here to be pleased...and why do i have to keep reminding you of the things about yourself that you should be proud of? i, for one, just want a friend, and you're perfect for the part :)

now i'm really wondering what happened yesterday. but whatever it may have been, please, please, please don't give up!