Ideasyncrasies

Changes:  I'm married.  I ran away from home to get married. Like the movies. Unfortunately.  My dog is 4 now.   My husband loves him just as much as I do.  My husband loves me too :D  I earn quite well, for someone who once wanted to start her own dog creche and is now "managing relationships".  I still struggle with the flubber, but have currently started Zumba and LOVE it. Might be the answer.  I like to cook traditional food. Should have paid more attention to Mum in the kitchen.  I still love to read and read whenever I can.  I stopped blogging, and now feel the need to write about myself.  I dress much better than I used to, therefore I feel much better ( and poorer) than I used to :D  I love the way my husband and me complete each other's sentences.  I still like Coffee, but have it on rare occasions.  I have sort of learnt to swim. Yay ! I can now float for 2 minutes and THEN start drowni...

It's like a switch; is living. It goes on and off I mean. Although here, you'd have to pay a bill for keeping it off, and maintenance charges for keeping it on. I'm missing Chinky a lot. I need a contemporary friend to replace him now. Ha, noone can really replace the missing can they ? It's like holes in your consciousness. God acts like a punch soemtimes. And then we are all tied by a ribbon to make one big fat file that noone wants to read. I'm not depressed though. I'm just stating the obvious, although I'm in a detached mode right now. Can't read, nor write. I havent read a good new book in ages, except for the newspapers abd The Economist and stuff that's itneresting but not really recreational. Thought provoking ? News is never thought provoking for me.The smell of good food is mostly. Thought and hunger provoking. I'm getting back into that dangerous phase of keeping myself happy with food, which is not good. I'm strangely happy some ...

He's not as smart as you think he is. They're not as useful as you think they are. I'm not as patient as you think I am. We're not as stupid as you think we are. They're not as young as you think they are. She's not as lonely as you think she is. Time is not as slow as you think it is. It's not as easy as you think it is. He's not as confident as you think he is. I'm not as wrong as you think I am. We're not as different as you think we are. Change your thoughts, and you will change YOUR world. No, really !

From the past 6 months or so, I resolved I needed to lose about 30 kilos, the healthiest and fastest way I could. In December 2007, I weighed all of a very flabby, miserable and roly poly 84 kilos. Needless to say, on my 5 ft 3 frame, it all looked like a very robust sack of potatoes destined for the relief of a famine ravaged country. Today, I’m a fat, but healthier 74 kilos. And the work is still in progress. It’s all a combination of diet, hunger pangs, exercise, green tea and looking long and hard at all the lovely clothes i want to wear, but cant because my flubber makes itself very prominent in spandex ltd. This post does have a point, before I ramble any more. My motto for most anything in life is, If you do what you always did, you’ll get what you always got. And that is helping me bear whatever small discomfort and big problems that life keeps throwing at me. It’s weird, how one after another I’m in such scrapes, where my reality and sense of self tethers on my uncertain futur...

One of my favourite poets Ogden Nash once said, and I quote; "Because some tortures are physical and some are mental, But the one that is both is dental. It is hard to be self-possessed With your jaw digging into your chest." I empathize. I had this awful gap where my molar or premolar or one of those teeth that help me chew those steaks was supposed to be. It had stubbornly resisted the onslaught of beef, gum, chocolates, and what not, and the root refused to dislodge from wherever it was comfortably sitting. This led to an awful stench, every time i opened my mouth it smelt like the backwaters of Bombay so i just had to have it extracted. Off i went, skippety hoppety to the dentist. Now, I'm very stoic, and sweet and even tempered. The milk of human kindness runs in my veins like the Ganges, perennial and with a constant stream of people doing their best to wash their dirty linen in it. But, but, BUT, that dentist really tried my patience, and how. He took one look at m...

After all the stuff I've been reading, thinking and then blogging about, i decided to stay away from this part of the world for a while. Utter rubbish i tell you ! Love and all phoooey goeey. So Kaka! Well, since i stayed away i know for sure YOU stayed away too :D ...oh and you can blame it on the Lenten fast. I swear, despite my love for chocolates, if the Easter bunny comes around now, I might just ignore the proferred chocolate eggs and roast the bugger for dinner. Even my dreams are of Roast chicken and potatoes :( But ahh, something really funny happened the other day. As usual, i was grumbling about all the stuff i didn't have, and how things were not happening in my life ( like ha, things could happen in this pocket of the world) and my dad told me this anecdote ..but yes, after crying and then laughing my guts out, i decided to blog it for posterity. A Jew ( I'm not anti - semitic so I'm sorry because it's always a Jew in these cases) but yes, a Jew prayed...

It is dull It is windy It is hurting It will pass I am sniffling I am worried I am writing I will be done. Time is constant Time is changing Time is fleeting Carpe de diem ! Well, what are you waiting for ?

I’ve just finished The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger. And I’ve cried again. I’ve read it while I’m supposed to be immersed in Economics, and it’s so different and beautiful after those Jude Deveraux books that i read at the rate of one per day, just…because. I’d be ashamed for anyone to know I read them, although they are nice, for that genre. Anyways, back to The Time Traveler’s Wife, in the midst of the benefits of monopoly, and I realize this is why I want to write; because, in all honesty, I really don’t give a shit about Economics. Let’s face it. Today, tomorrow, if the world doesn’t end, maybe a hundred years from now even, people will do business to earn a profit, and someone will be earning shit loads of money, and be intensely unhappy or happy despite or because of that. And someone somewhere will be struggling with a business that’s making a loss year after year, but he will still be at it because he began it, so he has to keep going on because it’s not ok, so it...

Why do certain things happen ? My dad says that whatever happens happens for the best. Considering the various things that have happened to me, I know they were lessons I had to learn, problem is its like the books one reads, you read and digest, then fail to expunge or practice. Take for example my first crush. He was from a community I really mocked and despised, and I fell for him when I was only 14, the age when I thought that my beliefs were supreme and everyone else was second rate, to be heard and then ignored. Ah well, that one secret is now bloglic. So no one can blackmail me with it. Only, certain things make you wonder just what the purpose behind them is. Like the rash on my butt. No purpose behind it, cept for the fact that I scratch with heart and soul and true passion.

I went and picked up the CFA curriculum today. Mum drove me over and oh dear, its 7 and some odd kg's and its terrifying. There are 6 wonderful books, with wonderful names that seem oh so learned and i may end up being the world's richest investment banker someday, but right now all that I know is that when i open the book the words swim in my head and everything is so pretty :D I didn't go gymmimg yesterday ( out of sheer laziness) and today we had to go for mass, so no gym again, due to lack of transport. In between panicking about magnitude of the CFA curriculum, and the limit of my mental capacity, i will try and get driver's license here in Oman. I really need it. Can someone please make me a cup of coffee ?

I'm staring out into the night, Trying to hide the pain. I'm going to the place where love And feeling good don't ever cost a thing. And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain. I'm going home, Back to the place where I belong, And where your love has always been enough for me. I'm not running from. No, I think you got me all wrong. I don't regret this life I chose for me. But these places and these faces are getting old So I'm going home. Well I'm going home. Be careful what you wish for, 'Cause you just might get it all. You just might get it all, And then some you don't want. Be careful what you wish for, 'Cause you just might get it all. You just might get it all, yeah. Oh, well I'm going home, Back to the place where I belong, And where your love has always been enough for me. I'm not running from. No, I think you got me all wrong. I don't regret this life I chose for me. But these places and these faces are getting ...

I sound like so many of the others no. Don't know what I want, don't know what I can do, Can't make up my mind, think I'm good at everything if i want to do something types. I'm going crazy wondering just what is it I want from life. I'm going crazy finding someone I want too, but lets not make my sad social life the object of this discourse, I might go and buy vodka and sleep all through tomorrow and the rest of my life too. Or even worse, I might go give Cadbury their highest sales ever in a day. Either of which does not seem to be a good option so... But yes, career. Let's not talk about that either, I feel kaka. I'm so going out to buy a lovely new pair of shoes. I have these huge duck type, left leg scarred in childhood mishap kind of feet. No kidding. I talk to my feet because I have never seen feet like mine. I love them ! Then again I don't look at men's feet, if i did, I might find a sole mate. I want to learn how to play the piano. No, ...

Honesty can get you to a lot of places. Some of them not so good. Seriously, how many people lie on their resumes ? I don't. I'm not proud of it. I can't think of one thing to twist and fabricate and invent euphemisms for. A friend asked me today, if you found a gold ornament on the ground, what would you do ? Pat came the answer, I'd keep it; obviously. Then she asks me, what if you found it in the office. I'd keep it, obviously !!! Mum n dad raised me well, so where the heck did that answer come from ? So many times i lie to people when I don't want to answer the phone, I insist i was asleep, or the phone was on silent, when all I was doing was reading, or surfing the net, or watching Ugly Betty, or listening to my favourite song and i just didn't want to spoil the moment. Small, white lies. Big, nasty horrible lies. Past one year I didn't lie much. I just avoided people ! How far can honesty get you? I believe that a lie or a series of lies can ge...

Doesnt know what it is not to worry and still manages to screw things up and tempt fate to give her more reasons to worry. Thinks that someday all her dreams will come true, problem is, she doesnt know WHAT those dreams are. Loves mankind but hates people. Thinks she cant when she can, and can when she can't. Thinks icecream might help the weight loss. Loves family but avoids them like the plague. Would walk a million miles for her sibling, but beat him to death if he lent out her books. Would lend a book, to do someone a favour and then curse them to oblivion for not returning the book back, when she's forgotten who's taken it in the first place. Thinks everything in ice pink, baby pink or pink looks good. Abhors almost everything about herself and yet is an almost elitist.(phrase i coined myself) Loves the language and reading so much she's afraid she cna never make a career of it because she will never be good enough. Complains that the detergents dont smell the same...

Every year my birthday gets weirder. Some friends remember, some are forced to remember, most just remember because of the “once a year “syndrome, so that they can do away with the obligation. But let that be, perhaps I should thank everyone in sight that I’ve managed to survive another year. 22, only, I’m not two but one fat duckling. I’m living life by the weekends now. Everything is reserved for a Saturday or a Sunday. Read something, meet someone do Someone/something…everything: D Every Friday night, I’m Sheryl Crow singing All I want to do, is have some fun, I got a feeling, I’m not the only one! And every Sunday evening I’m Bon Jovi rebelling that Someday I’ll be Saturday night L The other day in the bus I passed by this amazing Hair Salon called…guess what...THE HAIR PORT!! Really hair raising that! :D But English is so amazing sometimes. There is this one client of ours who once sent us a message asking us not o test his “ patient”. Even I’m running out of patients…there are n...

I may not have the time to read my mails these days, but i still can see through people who try to bullshit. That didn't really come out right, but, what i meant is, I get forwarded mails too, you don't have to expound on theories or forwards that you have recieved in the mail and expect me to be impressed by your "wisdom". Especially when you claim those opinions, or wisecracks as your own. But apart from that...howdy everyone. I'm sorry about the no blogger. It's a no brainer see, what with me working late and just pretending I have a life, no time to blog, and yes, no net for a while. I tried TV. They repeat everything and it sucks. And you occassionaly stumble onto a horror movie that you just can't resist and then cannot sleep for a month out of fear. I finally decided to give up thinking of buying jeans AFTER i lost weight and just went and had a lovely bout of retail therapy. With Choi. The best days of my life category; those. I no longer feel guil...

I have been beset my depression, guilt, fear, rebellion, depression, doldrums, oh that and all. The whole package really. and nothing seems to be changing. It's been ages now. I'm trying very, very hard to see the goodness in everything generally, but it isn't really helping. Maybe, someday, I'll not have any friends, and my family will disown me and this will all go away since I can't live up to my own stringent expectations, how can i please the others then ? I think I'm giving up, and I'm struggling hard every waking moment to keep up the fight. I've given up going to church though. Much as I know I have a lot to be thankful for, I'm not really inclined to a conversation with God. I'm afraid I'll vent my anger.

A very (once upon a time) close friend lost her dad today. I was numb from the shock. Half the day went by without me thinking, doing everything mechanically, wondering how I'd cope. I was crying, wishing i could be there with her, and her family. Though as usual i was at a loss for words, and its a wonder i didn't bawl my heart out at work and bite someone's head off. I missed my family more than ever, and threw caution (and my job) to the winds, by chatting with close friends. I spoke to my best friend after ages, and it was like there never was any distance. I spoke to another wonderful friend after ages too, not desultory, defunct conversation, but actually spoke a mile a minute, and then spoke about friends there to share i each other's soys and jorrows. THATS how fast i was speaking lol! It's a tragedy how it takes a death for me to get back in touch with all those people who once meant the world to me and who i don't have the time for now, except perhaps ...

Money ruins friendships. Unless its your daddy, the friend not only ends up in your list of to be hated forever and ignored, but also, oh my God, He/ She so used me. Want to be surrounded by your regular fan club ? Dont lend, dont borrow. When you lend someone money, you tend to think of your borrowee (im using my blogatic license) but yes, you tend to think of your borrowee as scum. The filth that surrounds your pretty ballerina studs. and ahh, when you borrow money, all you want to do is hide your face and die . i presume. Not good that. Btw Ma, i KNOW you read my blog. How else would you know about the Brownies ? But please, i really meant what i said, i'm going to pretend that noone knows who i am, or that noone reads this anyways, and that applies to all you A's, B's, C's, D's and Dh's that i know. How else will I ever bitch about everyone to everyone and about life to just myself, laugh, mock, scorn, cry and just live atleast a tiny part of my life all to ...

Small things make me happy. Or rather...Make me laugh.. Saw this really hot guy from the bus in the morning on the way to coll. So I stared. Unashamedly. Not wantonly...But ahh :P And then he smiled !!! At me !!! whoa....HOT ...I felt the usual beginnings of a drool...Or rather..Unusual...Its really rare that I would drool over such charming eye candy... Then while waiting at churchgate stn for another bus...(darn but I hate Indian infrastructure..Or the lack of it ), I saw this bus...With lotsa crows perched on it... And it was ambling along leisurely with the crows having their Annual General Body Meeting atop it.. Oh made me smile... So I went for that interview..Or rather..Aptitude test at TSMG. Nice office ...Plush...Or rather...Not plush...Very nice though I cant find the right word... And gave the test. Nice test too... Analysis of situations...And a horrid business aptitude test which I had fun with. And after I endured all the horrid cramps ...(Its been 2 crampy days ) And amb...