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Child care ?

  It was National Breastfeeding Week a couple of weeks ago and I feel like this is a week that celebrates me. I had forgotten how hard it is with a new born, and this reality is hitting me hard; like a big fat load of very heavy bricks landing right on my noggin.  Sometimes, when I look at both my kids, I touch their toes, or squeeze them with all the love in my heart and think- I made this ! I nourished this and it grew, for almost 4 years it was literally my blood that fed and comforted, and its happening again. Every little smile, every fingernail I agonize over, every giggle- its me; on tap. But this parenting business is hard. I'm constantly second guessing myself, I seem to have forgotten everything I did to make things better, and Baby 1 seems angelic and so independent compared to this little nugget that just wants me constantly.  I feel empty, and the words that used to flow so easily have dried up. All I want to do is read beautiful words written by someone else, and try
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Action replay !

Its been a long time since I've even thought about writing or poetry, or even reading a good story. Nowadays everything is about instant gratification for me, from literature, to movies, to food. And therein lies the problem. Somewhere along the way, after moving continents, and cleaving onto someone, and then have someone cleaving unto me (that mollusc is now 5, but still I don't think it will detach until college); I seem to have lost my identity. I have lost ambition, I cannot see the woods because the trees are all in the way! I've put on a lot of weight, given up on self enrichment, I worry constantly about financial stability and obsess over facebook posts by other people (most of whom love expensive holidays), and I've just become a sort of mess. This post is about my decision to reclaim myself, from all that I have become. I'm not saying these past years and the many good things they have wrought in my life do not matter. They are amazing, all th
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Life in London

I have finally moved to a new city. Unfortunately still related to the old people !! I somehow need to articulate the excitement, the joy and my wonder at this beautiful city and all its inhabitants, especially the Indians and the Pakistanis. Oh joy ! I cannot believe I'm here. Passed Knightsbridge and pinched myself just to check whether I was on the Knight Bus, also love love love all the flowers, the parks, the sausages and the beers !!!! Ok, its 3 am and i need to sleep.
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Aiden

I am a mommy now. Ofcourse, being mommy is just as wonderful as everyone says it is, although I am managing to spectacularly mess it up the way I mess all aspects of my disorganized, rubbish life. Aiden turned 7 months on 31 October 2015. His cute little paws grab everything they see, and he's fascinated by the food we eat. No matter what we munch on, grubby little paws keep trying to reach out for it, and he looks at our faces with such a serious expression, wondering why we are not giving him the same food. It's so funny! I am a staunch supporter of  breastfeeding and only breast milk for babies, and I really, really tried to follow this for 6 months. Even now, at work I pump, whatever little measly amounts come will surely help my baby grow better, and i feel so guilty giving him formula especially when the care giver says he asks for milk. Its such a struggle trying to be a baby led weaning, only breastfeeding, baby carrying, doggy loving mom. It's as if trying
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Two roads...

Changes:  I'm married.  I ran away from home to get married. Like the movies. Unfortunately.  My dog is 4 now.   My husband loves him just as much as I do.  My husband loves me too :D  I earn quite well, for someone who once wanted to start her own dog creche and is now "managing relationships".  I still struggle with the flubber, but have currently started Zumba and LOVE it. Might be the answer.  I like to cook traditional food. Should have paid more attention to Mum in the kitchen.  I still love to read and read whenever I can.  I stopped blogging, and now feel the need to write about myself.  I dress much better than I used to, therefore I feel much better ( and poorer) than I used to :D  I love the way my husband and me complete each other's sentences.  I still like Coffee, but have it on rare occasions.  I have sort of learnt to swim. Yay ! I can now float for 2 minutes and THEN start drowning.  I know how to bully the husband into doing the hou
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Does anyone still read this ?

You should never create a title with a question mark. I've changed so much since these last posts, and reading Tess of the D'Urbervilles again, brings such wonderful memories of life when I knew nothing. I'm more inclined to spouting Ayn Rand these days. I've never been happier or sadder in my life, yet I literally feel like the pheonix, rising from the ashes. OH, what joy it is, to be so bitter and young, yet full of life and aching for knowledge, and love.
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Puppy Love

The best things in life are not free. Some of them involve your favourite slippers chewed to bits of rubber, stolen fish, anxiety attacks while running barefoot on the road calling for a monster, and lots of tears of happiness. Having a dog who loves you is not one of the best things in life. It is THE best thing. Family and chocolate comes a mere second ;)
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